


It's Only Been a Moment, It's Only Been a Lifetime

by EmsyPes



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Danvers Sisters, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 12:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmsyPes/pseuds/EmsyPes
Summary: The fight with Reign is over, but Kara is still being haunted by what would have happened if she hadn't found another way. With the help of pot stickers, ice cream, and Alex, Kara is finally able to learn to breathe again.Post Supergirl Season 3 finale/post episode 23.See the end for more notes.





	It's Only Been a Moment, It's Only Been a Lifetime

After finishing the pizza, turning off the news, and talking with Alex, Kara finally accepts that this fight is truly over. And yet...

When the time comes for Kara to go to sleep, after Alex has gone home and she’s finished off the rest of her ice cream stockpile in the freezer, she lets herself sink onto her bed and release a shuddering breath. It doesn’t loosen the tightness in her chest that appeared the moment Alex left.

It’s one thing to assure her sister that they’ll both be okay when they’ve just triumphed in a long fought battle and saved the day again. It’s another to believe it when alone with her thoughts and the memories of what it took to win. Kara could feel tension building in her head as she tries to ward off the images surfacing--Sam--Mon-El--her mom--

Her breathing grows shallow. The world closes in, just as it did with Psi. (And Rao, how long ago that feels, a different year, a different lifetime). She can’t get it out of her head, her thoughts disjointed.

_You’re fine. You’re safe. They’re alive they’re alive **they’re alive** \--_

Without conscious thought Kara changes into her suit and launches off the balcony, flying into the night sky.

*

A few days later, on Friday, Alex notices that something about Kara is...off. 

Alex has admittedly been very busy. J’onn has already left the DEO and she’s in the midst of learning how to be the permanent acting director. She’s still dealing with those that aren’t happy about phasing out use of lethal weapons, Brainy is having issues adjusting to this century (understandably), there are new weapons to be made and just because Reign is gone doesn’t mean there aren’t other problems and—

Well, it’s been a hectic few days. They haven’t had to call in Supergirl for anything too urgent, which has given Kara a well needed rest. She’s been at CatCo helping James handle the Guardian fallout. She’s still done plenty of course. Small fires, helping cleanup, nothing drastic or too taxing. By all accounts Alex thought Kara was finally getting back to some semblance of normal. 

Then Supergirl comes back from stopping a robbery and when she lands on the balcony Alex watches her pause and close her eyes for a moment, mouthing something silently to herself. 

It’s short and quick. Probably not meant to be seen by others. In the next instant Supergirl is all smiles as she catches her sister’s eye. Alex wouldn’t even notice except she was walking up to brief her sister on both the robbery and whether she wanted to get potstickers for dinner tonight. It shouldn’t be anything to dwell on, but it reminds Alex of the Kryptonian meditation she watched Kara do. Her sister was in such a bad headspace then, but things were better now, weren’t they? Kara was doing better. Worry niggles at Alex.

“Good job, Supergirl,” Alex says, walking with her down the steps toward the computer hub. She types absently at a tablet as they go, already filling out paperwork for the mission. “We just need to wrap up some paperwork and then you’re clear for the evening. You free for dinner tonight?”

Kara smiles at her and reaches out to take the tablet. “I’m assuming I’m not now. Pot stickers?” 

“You read my mind.” Alex watches her sister as she types out information about the mission, falling silent. She’s fine from the robbery, obviously, as invulnerable as ever. But something about the look in her eyes, the slightest of crinkles at her eyebrow… “Another movie night, maybe? I could bring some more wine and ice cream and we could have a sleepover.”

“You don’t need to come in tomorrow?” Kara asks without looking up from the pad.

“Not early, anyway,” Alex answers, leaning back against the desk behind her. She watches Kara intently for another few moments before it finally clicks. Her sister looks tired. Tired and stressed and strained. With deliberate casualness she add, “We can both sleep in for the first time in awhile.”

Kara’s brow furrows for a fraction of a second before she looks up with an over-bright grin. “Since when do you sleep in, Director?”

“Oh, often enough. And since when do you not sleep, Supergirl?”

The grin fades from Kara’s face for a moment before she laughs with a roll of her eyes. “What are you talking about, Alex? Of course I sleep.”

“Kara,” Alex says with a frown, eyeing her worriedly. “Something’s up with you. What’s wrong?”

“ _Nothing_ , Alex, seriously.”

Alex’s response is cut short by another DEO agent calling out to her. She sighs and points a finger at Kara. “We’ll talk tonight.”

“You get the wine and ice cream, I’ll get the food,” Kara says with a smile, handing back the tablet and half-crushing Alex with a hug. “I’m fine, Alex. I’ll see you tonight.”

*

Kara opens the door to let her sister in that evening with take-out still hot on the coffee table and a movie queued up. Wine glasses sit on the kitchen table. She takes her sister nights very seriously.

It just so happens she also had too much time to spare between work ending and when Alex text that she would be over. She even took an extra half hour to perfect her article on the proven benefits of Guardian’s vigilantism and the current crime rate in National City. Then when James had forced her to leave she spent some time as Supergirl doing anything she could to keep herself occupied.

(She rescued a cat out of a tree. An actual cat this time. It was cute.).

When she had exhausted all of her options to avoid down time, she has finally given in and grabbed dinner. She was only alone and left to her own devices at home for half an hour, but it felt like an eternity. Being alone, just thinking, has not been her friend these past few days. 

“I bought four different types of ice cream because I’m the best sister,” is Alex’s greeting.

Kara laughs. “You _are_ the best sister. No contest. Did you get chocolate chip cookie dough?”

“This isn’t amateur hour, Kara.”

“Okay, okay! It’s just that one time when you only got vanilla--”

“Oh my god, let it go! I was seventeen!”

Laughing again, Kara crams all of the ice cream into the freezer while Alex pours them both a glass of wine. They settle on the couch, separated only by some takeout containers and pillows.

Kara sees Alex eye the remote and with superspeed grabs it before her sister can. “No way, I’m picking the movie.”

“You just picked it like four days ago!” Alex complains, jabbing her chopsticks in Kara’s direction. “This is tyranny.”

“You’ll just pick something scary, and I won’t be able to enjoy it! Sister night is about--about--family fun!” Kara exclaims, eyes wide.

Alex groans. “You’re such a girl scout. _Fine._ I’m not watching the Wizard of Oz again, though.”

Kara gives a little wiggle dance of victory, shoving a potsticker in her mouth as she scrolls through their selection of movies. Her eyes catch on the Sound of Music. “Ohhh, we haven’t watched this in forever.”

“It’s been too long since you’ve sang along to a musical,” Alex agrees with a smile.

They settle in as the movie starts, eating and drinking in companionable silence. Kara interjects with questions about the new Directorship so far and how Brainy is adapting in his position. Alex nudges Kara to sing along to My Favorite Things, which she does with a flourish.

When they finish dinner and move on to the ice cream, while Julie Andrews sings The Sound of Music in the background, Alex turns to Kara with a glint in her eye. Kara feels apprehensive instantly. She’s been on the receiving end of that look too many times. Of course Alex has not forgotten about their conversation from earlier.

“So…” Alex drawls, shifting to face Kara while stuffing a pillow under her arms, “how are you feeling?”

“Alex,” Kara sighs, but isn’t sure how to finish that thought. It should be so easy to tell her. They talk about everything, and Kara knows she will feel better if she just tells her sister what’s been bothering her. She felt better after telling Alex about her fears with Mon-El, about how she felt after finding her mother. It’s always the right decision, to confide in her sister.

But to explain this is to admit that it truly happened. That she let these things happen in front of her because she lost sight of herself. Not to mention having to explain that she changed time itself. She just doesn’t know where to begin, and isn’t quite ready to have to face these particular demons.

“I’m fine, Alex,” Kara finally says, meeting her sister’s eyes hesitantly, “just a little worn out from being at CatCo so much. Can we just--just finish the movie? Please?”

Kara isn’t above pulling the puppy-dog pout, so she puts it on in full force. She counts to eight before Alex’s shoulders slump and she sighs. Kara can’t help but smile a little.

“Okay. But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Alex moves the debris and pillows from in between them on the couch, scooting closer to put her arm around Kara. “No matter what.”

“I know,” Kara says, and means it. She wraps her arms around Alex, leaning her head on her shoulder. She can feel tension draining from her shoulders already. “This is just what I need.”

Alex rests her head on top of Kara’s, humming in response.

The stress and lack of sleep from the past few days encroaches on her quickly. Kara can feel a tired ache building in her eyes. She closes them, hoping to ease it if only for a moment.

_The dust settles around her. Four bodies lay in front of her. Three aren’t moving._

__

__

_“Mom?” She stares in horror, forcing herself to crawl forward. Feel for a pulse. Glassy eyes stare back at her. “No, no. M-mom?”_

__

_“Kara!” A voice screams from behind her. Kara whips around, struggling to pull herself to her feet. She looks around wildly but can’t tell where the voice is coming from._

__

__

_“Kara! Please!”_

__

__

_It’s Alex’s voice._

__

__

_“Alex!” Kara shouts desperately, beginning to run. The passageways are endless. She can hear Alex but she can’t see her. Darkness is creeping in._

__

__

_“You could have saved us.” Mon-El’s voice echoes around her. “Kara, the future was counting on you.”_

__

__

_“Kara, Kara!” Alex cries. “Please, she’s going to kill me.”_

__

__

_“No, Alex, I’m coming! Where are you? Alex. **Alex!** ” _

__

__

_Kara turns a corner and finally there she is, and there’s Reign. Her eyes begin to glow red and the beam tears through Alex’s chest--_

“Kara. Kara. KARA!”

Kara’s eyes fly open and her body reacts instantly, rolling and colliding with the floor. She can feel her heart beating as if trying to escape her chest. With a groan she pushes herself up onto her forearms. A hand grips her shoulder as Alex crouches down in front of her, worry etched into her face.

“God, Kara, are you okay?” Alex asks, helping Kara sit up. She pushes hair out of Kara’s face, hovering close. “What happened?”

Kara presses her back against the couch and focuses on evening her breath. She covers her face with shaky hands as she feels tears gathering in her eyes. The dream had felt so hauntingly real.  
“Kara,” Alex says gently from in front of her. Her hands come up to frame Kara’s face, smoothing back her hair. “Hey, hey. You’re okay. Everything is alright. Just talk to me, please.”

Slowly Kara lets her hands drop, latching onto the material of her pants instead to worry it between her fingers. She can’t bring herself to look at Alex. “I-I’ve been having nightmares. I haven’t really slept in days.”

She hears Alex swallow. Then her hand lifts up Kara’s chin, forcing her to meet her eye.

“Is it because of Mon-El again? Or Reign?”

To her horror Kara feels a tear roll down her cheek, followed quickly by a second and a third. She screws up her face against them even as her shoulders start to shake from a suppressed sob.

“Oh Kara,” Alex whispers, wrapping her into a hug. Kara presses her face into Alex’s shoulders.

“I did something terrible Alex,” Kara says, voice wavering. “Mon-El, Sam, my Mom--I killed them, they _died._ ”

“What are you talking about? Kara that was just a bad dream, they’re alive--”

“No, you d-don’t understand,” she cries, pulling back and shaking her head. “I went in r-ready to kill Reign and I did and she killed them because of me.”

“No,” Alex says gently, her words slow, “no, Kara, that isn’t what happened.”

“I changed time, Alex,” Kara admits, wiping at her eyes. She takes a deep breath, trying to still the shaking in her shoulders. “They were all d-dead and you found me a disruption and I went back in time to fix it.” 

There’s a pause as she watches Alex process this information. Kara sees her expression go from disbelief to fear, and then to a concern so gentle she feels herself start to cry again.

“Kara, whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault,” Alex insists. She reaches out and wipes a tear from Kara’s cheek. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”

Kara tells Alex everything that happened, pausing frequently to try to get her voice to stop shaking and her breathing to even out. She describes Sam stabbing Reign, how she finally gave in to her anger and punched Reign into the pit. As she describes how Reign killed Sam and then her mom she can’t keep the sobs suppressed any longer. She’s barely able to describe how Mon-El sacrificed himself for J’onn before she has to stop talking to try and get herself under control.

Alex doesn’t say anything as Kara cries. Instead she moves to Kara’s side, pulling her into a tight embrace. Kara let’s the grief and guilt that’s been buried finally come to the surface. Not just for those that she watched die, but for the time she spent lost and hollow this year, and for the sacrifices she gave that chipped away at her core self. She clutches at Alex’s shirt and lets herself cry into her shoulder until all that’s left are shaky gasps and a pounding in her head. 

Yet somehow, she feels as if she can finally breathe again.

Once the tears won’t come out any more Kara becomes aware of Alex slowly stroking her hair. She closes her eyes and accepts the comfort for a few moments longer before pulling back and rubbing at her eyes. The smile she gives Alex is weak and a little embarrassed, but genuine.

“I’m--”

“Don’t,” Alex interrupts, shaking her head. Her own smile is sad and fond and everything about Kara’s sister that she’s ever loved. “Don’t apologize, Kara. Did you want to finish?”

Kara does so, detailing how Alex and Winn found the disruption and she took Mon-El’s ring and went back in time. How she found another way. She falls silent then, staring unseeingly at a point ahead of them, waiting for Alex to speak.

Finally, Alex says quietly, “It still wasn’t your fault, Kara.”

“I went in there ready to kill, Alex. And they died for it.”

“You were doing what you thought would save everyone,” her sister insists, taking her hand and waiting until Kara turns to look at her. Alex’s eyes are imploring. “And you were doing what you felt pressured to do, Kara. That isn’t your fault. That was our fault.”

“No,” Kara says quickly, shaking her head. “I’m not blaming you or anybody else, Alex.”

“I know you aren’t, I know. It doesn’t change the fact that we’ve all spent these past months trying to make you follow our ways. But Kara, you’ve always had your own path. And you found that path again and you made things right.” Alex leans forward, pressing her lips to Kara’s forehead lightly. “I’m so proud of you.”

Kara nods, not trusting herself to speak again for the moment. She takes another few deep breaths before asking quietly, “Do you really think we’ll be okay?”

“I really do,” Alex agrees. She pushes herself up and then offers a hand to Kara, helping her up. “Come on. You need more ice cream and I need a new shirt.”

Kara laughs as Alex grins teasingly at her. She pulls Alex in for another hug.

“I love you, Alex.”

“I love you, too, Kara.”

When Kara goes to sleep that night, Alex sprawled next to her, the darkness finally doesn’t seem as scary.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! This is my first fic for the Supergirl fandom, and my take on how Kara would handle the immediate aftermath of season three. Let me know what you think! Hoping to write quite a bit more for Supergirl, so criticism is welcome!
> 
> Also, title is from Silhouette by Aquilo. I don't own Supergirl and don't make money off of this, etc. etc.


End file.
